There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more

I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib

Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quake

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government

The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small