I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy

Love is a promise delivered already broken

First the doctor told me the good news I was going to have a disease named after me

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

I believe in eight of the ten commandments and I believe in going to church every Sunday unless there's a game on

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is