Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs

Marriage is the one subject on which all women agree and all men disagree

Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building

A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks

If the poor only had profiles there would be no difficulty in solving the problem of poverty

The only real people are the people who never existed

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast

People who count their chickens before they are hatched, act very wisely, because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.