What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin