Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today… and there are other pressures

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a chair when I'm not expecting it.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake