The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague

Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic

These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around