The principal contributor to loneliness in this country is television. What happens is that the family 'gets together' alone Quotes By : Ashley Montagu | Added By:
What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust Quotes By : Salvador Dalà | Added By:
While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings Quotes By : Unknown | Added By:
I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum Quotes By : Mitch Hedberg | Added By:
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television Quotes By : Erma Bombeck | Added By:
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight Quotes By : George Gobal | Added By:
The screen is a magic medium. It has such power that it can retain interest as it conveys emotions and moods that no other art form can hope to tackle Quotes By : Stanley Kubrick | Added By:
Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on "canned" laughter grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years Quotes By : Russell Baker | Added By: rumapaul
Hi. You know with everything going down in West Palm Beach, and the holidays right around the corner I couldn't think of a better time to share one of my favorite children's classics, it's called: "How the Grinch Stole the Election". And ah--I'd like to read it to you now, shall we? Every Jew down in Jew-vile liked elections a lot, But the Grinch who lived over in Austin did not. I know they'll be voting for Gore, he was thinking, By Wednesday--the latest--I'll be back to my drinking. Election Day came and the voting was close, At one point the Grinch even started to boast, 'It's the Grinch by a nose!' all the newsmen exclaimed, Even Dan Rather who was clearly insane. But was he the winner, hey not so fast-- Al Gore called him up and said, "Grinch, kiss my ass!" The race was too tight to say who was elected, The Grinch was so stressed his face got infected. All eyes turned to Jewville to sort out the mess, But Hyman and Hershel and dear old Aunt Bess, Were too senile to vote for the one that they liked, They poked the wrong hole and joined the Third Reich. The Jews down in Jewville took to the streets, To complain about fraud, not to mention the heat. The Grinch said something that couldn't be gosher, 'This election my friends, is perfectly kosher.' Then a judge ruled each vote should be counted by hand, The Grinch said, 'That's not what my brother Jeb had planned.' His lawyers filed motions and junctions and writs, Demanding that Gore and the Jews call it quits. But just when the Grinch thought the deal had gone through, He met Cindy Lou Lipshitz, age 92. 'Why?' she cried, 'Did you steal our election?' The Grinch just laughed and gave her a lethal injection. They say the Grinch's ego grew 3 sizes that day, Unfortunately his brain went the opposite way. So here's a lesson for now and for later, Don’t blame me-- I voted for Nader Quotes By : Bill Maher | Added By: rumapaul
When television producers say it is the parents' obligation to keep children away from the tube, they reach the self satire point of warning that their own product is unsuitable for consumption Quotes By : Gregg Easterbrook | Added By: rumapaul